Your car is not a library. Don’t attach a book to the steering wheel and read while driving. The same thing goes for newspapers, advertising supplements or maps. The rule applies to contracts and food labels, too. Your car is not a locker room or bedroom. The latter are where you change clothes. Don’t do it in the front seat of your car while driving down a public street. And please keep your body parts covered at all times while driving and at least one hand on the wheel. Your car is not a restaurant, although it can take you to one. After you hit the drive-through window, head home or to the office or some shady place for that nice snack. Don’t try to shove the burger, the fries and the onion rings in your mouth while balancing the beverage. You may end up hitting something and making a mess of your lunch. Ladies, your car is not a beauty salon, nor your bathroom mirror. That’s the place to put on makeup. Not at the intersection of Winnetka Avenue and Victory Boulevard. Or any other intersection, for that matter. Those lighted visor mirrors? They are for makeup touch ups – when you’ve arrived at your destination. Guys, your car is not a barber shop, hair salon or bathroom mirror. Shave at home. Trust me, you’ll do a better job. And if you must shave your head please don’t do it while driving down a street. Your knees don’t have anywhere near the control as your hands do. Ever watch a car race? The yellow flag means caution because there is trouble on the track. Drivers get back up to speed when the green flag comes back out. So when you see a yellow light it doesn’t mean push the pedal to the metal. Yellow lights last about four seconds before they go red. Bust one of those and something very bad can happen. Sure, your car’s horn is a warning signal. But it’s not intended for you to sound the alarm that you are blasting through a red light and everybody else should get out of the way. Stop signs mean just that. It’s not OK to ignore them when making right turns. And I know that some have white borders. But that doesn’t mean that stopping is optional. [email protected] (818) 713-3743160Want local news?Sign up for the Localist and stay informed Something went wrong. Please try again.subscribeCongratulations! You’re all set! The signal light finally changed to green. And nobody moved. Not the SUV in front of us nor what turned out to be a small white compact in front of it. Horns sounded. Gentle beeps at first, then harsher, more strident tones. “It’s California. Nobody goes on green anymore,” the wife said. I hate it when she’s right like that. At the next light the driver of that white compact, a young woman with a Bluetooth device jammed in her ear, flashed half of the peace sign to her agitated companions on the road. She was still engaged in an animated conversation and her hands were moving too fast to simply grab the steering wheel and drive. So here are some new road rules proposed after seeing more than a fair share of stupid moves while driving. And some things your car is not. You’re not Superman or Superwoman and your car is not a phone booth. If you are going to get into a shouting match on the phone while driving, pull over to the curb to give whomever an earful. And keep the windows closed.